I am an artsist. My art begins with me trying to watch my life from the outside. I am not a painter of portraits or even the simplest forms of life. In fact , I am quite useless when it comes to drawing šŸ˜. But I wish I can also illustrate what I have seen. That I can, sometimes, evoke the same emotions some graphic illustrations have in me. That I can use words to tell my story as clear as some of them.

I sing songs that free and heal. I wish I could turn this freedom into something tangible. That I could hold on to it and never let it go. For at times, the walls feel like they are closing in on me and the chains anchor me to a place I wish to escape. The say an elephant that has been tied for all its life does not move or walk away even when its big enough to break shatter them. Too many years have passed, too many attempts have failed, it realises, and eventually accpets, that it cannot escape. Little does it know, or have any hope, that it may be able to escape one day. It accepts its fate and lives on.

The human spirit is very different. We must escape or at least be in anticipation of an escape. Without hope, we die. Our lives deduced to nothing, our body an empty vessel that used to carry life. The human cannot live without the freedom to choose or, at least, the illussion of it. The initiator of our despair and depression is the death of this hope or, even worse, the death of its illusion. Itā€™s a bitter reality, but the mind, heart and spirit must, and will always, resort to illussion after real hope disappears. But the person can only delude themselves until reality shakes them out of it. I hope and pray that when reality looks you in the eye, you will have the stregth to face it. I hope the hope you have to live turns out to be greater than the broken hope of promises and all you hoped to be. Then new hope can be found for you. But when the hope to live is gone then there is nothing left. All thatā€™s there are shattered hopes; even for those who had hoped in you.

I hope your hope is never taken from you. But if it is, I hope you live onā€¦